Welcome to the Blue Hell

Sporting KC virgins

Saturday yours truly (K&J obvi) attempted to experience a Sporting KC soccer game. This would have been Kesh's first Sporting game!

Jacs "this is not a tailgate" photo

We were beyond excited to get a prime parking spot hours before the game because rumor had it that Sporting KC has the best tailgating...Jac has been to a few games before and has very fond memories of the tailgating with other rowdy soccer fans! Well bring on the disappointment. There were very few tailgates and those who were just stood around in small groups with a few beers. Where's the food? The games? The ruckus? The PEOPLE!? We like our tailgating with a side of shenanigans!

After our crew finished our hotdogs and put up the grill, we grabbed our roadies and hustled* to the shuttle! Not mad about the shuttle. It conveniently picks you up in the parking lot and drives you over to the game. It was a little concerning initially we when we were guided into the Speedway parking lot that is a bit of a foot journey from The Blue Hell.

Tailgating let us down, but the stadium was legit. You're greeted with a sign that says "Welcome to The Blue Hell" and they offer a signature drink sell a signature drink for a pretty penny appropriately titled Blue Hell. It's blue curaçao, lemonade and some other things- we can't remember exactly, Just Google it. Pretty delightful, but after one you'll want some beer to keep from getting sick because it's really sweet.

Literally (we can say literally because it's 100% accurate and used appropriately), as we were in the middle of purchasing our first round of drinks in the stadium the rain started. And didn't stop for what seemed like hours. We immediately booked it to the little bit of shelter we could find- which happened to be a small section between the men's restrooms. Safety from the storm, but not from the farts one evil Sporting fan kindly shared with all of us in close quarters.

 

Our view from the mens restroom

After hanging out here for a bit and Snap Chatting everyone we knew about the devastating and severe danger we were in, the stadium police (think Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but less friendly) tried to separate the men from the women and children old-school, Titanic style. Our only nearby shelter during the lightning and tornado watch was a men's restroom, but Felicia** wasn't havin' it. No way can ladies try to seek shelter in the men's room- or try to actually use the men's restroom (hey- like we mentioned it was a storm and we'd also been drinking. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go) during times of emergency.

The Crew

After waiting about two hours for Mother Nature to calm her shit, we decided to take our chances and book it back to our cars during a break from the monsoon. This was a good call because the game was eventually postponed due to the weather.

Maybe next time we'll get to watch Bessler score instead of chillin' in the men's restroom while sipping on some Blue Hell.

-K & J

*Hustled is a bit dramatic. Like we mentioned previously, there was hardly anyone in the parking lot so there was no rush to grab a seat on a shuttle. Maybe it was the weather? We'll give ya that, Sporting KC. Maybe everyone else was smart enough to check the forecast before committing to their Saturday night festivities.

**Her name was likely not Felicia, but we weren't friends with her. Bye Felicia.